People often ask me 'What's it like to be a famous cat, Nancy?' Well, to be honest with you, it's the hardest job in the world sometimes. What with 24 hour news channels and tele-photo lenses it's easy to feel like you're never off duty.
To give you an example, earlier this week I was having a wash in the 'privacy' of my own back garden when, unknown to me, one of my People took a photo of me, posted it on the internet, and before I knew it a discussion was underway about the size of my rear end (size 0, in case you're wondering). Later I popped into a couple of my local pubs for a consolatory drink, just to find that my whereabouts were being monitored on Facebook.
Such is the price of fame, you might say. And you'd be right.
So, I've decided, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Clearly, there is a vacancy for a celebrity cat. The people want me. And what the people want, the people get. From now on I'm on a mission for maximum self-publicity.
If you ask me what I've done to deserve my fame you can talk to the paw, 'cause the face ain't listening. We all know you don't need to 'do' anything to be a celebrity these days. Just think of me as a feline version of Jordan.
Spread the word, Nancy fans - I've arrived!