Dear Ms Wintour,
Much as it saddens me to do so, I am writing to complain about the profile of me which ran in July's issue of Vogue.
It's not just that most of the article is, inexplicably, padded with an unnecessary (and dare I say, gushing) interview with Sarah Jessica Parker (who she?) More worrying (and unprofessional) than that, when your journalist does finally get around to the topic du jour, my forthcoming memoir Sex and the Kitty - a celebrity Meowmoir, she makes two grave factual inaccuracies.
Firstly, she erroneously describes my lifetime's chef d'oeuvre as a 'novelty book'.
As if that were not crushing enough, she then perversely insists on attributing the work to my owner. Surely a journalist of a high enough calibre to write for American Vogue should understand that the word 'memoir'* generally implies that a book was written by its subject? Not by its subject's owner.
Ms Wintour, how would you feel if your cat tried to pass itself off as editor of Vogue? A little peeved, perhaps? Somewhat chagrined? Maybe even 'the full Nuclear'?
Now you know how I felt upon reading that my 'novelty' memoir was apparently not even written by me.
I will let it pass on this occasion, but next time I might not be so understanding.
You have been warned.
Nancy (the Cat)
*ok so it actually says 'meowmoir' but you get my point.