Monday, 7 June 2010

The Rules (for Cats)

I've been doing some research on what the experts have to say on the subject of dating etiquette (a subject close to my heart, as you know), and I stumbled across a copy of 'The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr.Right'. Now this sounds like my kind of book!

I've had a quick flick through the chapters and think I can safely say that, without even knowing it, I am indeed a 'rules girl'.

Here's a few examples:

Be a 'Creature' Unlike Any Other
I think it goes without saying that this sentence could have been written about me.

Don't Talk to a Man First
As you all know, I let the men do the yowling.

Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
See above (although I do perhaps need to work on the staring part - I have been known to deliver the occasional Medusa stare across the garden).

Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
We always meet in my garden, naturally. As far as I know neither of us has ever paid on a date.

Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
This one's a bit of a sticking point as I have been known to think it's still Saturday on Wednesday, but I've never knowingly broken this rule.

Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday of Valentine's Day
As I explained in my last blog, a healthy tomcat spray around the hallway counts as a romantic gift for cats, so I think this one's covered.

Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
I try to make a habit of not seeing ANYONE (human or cat) more than once or twice a week, so not a problem.

Let Him Take the Lead
Hmm. I'm not a dog, you know.

Be Honest but Mysterious
Check. To both.

Slowly Involve Him in Your Family
Well, he's had a few stand-offs with Pip in the back garden. Same thing.

Love Only Those Who Love You
Easy - EVERYONE loves me!

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